I have been applying for youth/ associate pastor positions for a while. I have this burning passion in my hear to eventually start a church, but I know that will only come with preparation. I don't want to do this to a church, but I had been looking for positions in youth ministry or college ministry and being honest about my intentions, that I would eventually use momentum and an obvious calling to start this church.
After looking for quite some time, and the result of recent developments, I think I have come to the realization that I need to force a passion on myself. I pray all of the time that God would take this passion away from me, but it hasn't happened. So, I think I will have to force it upon myself. This has been one of the most difficult things that I have gone through. I have played music, and I was able to get into most music venues that I chose. I have played sports and was part of great teams. I went to college, and I had my chance at a great education.
Ministry has been the one thing that has shown the most road blocks. I don't know why God would put something in my heart that no one else wants me to do.
It's been hard.
~Nigel
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